Sunday morning, man, she woke up fighting mad
Bitching and moaning on and on ’bout the time I had
And by Tuesday, you could say that girl was good as gone
And then when Thursday came around, I was all alone
So I went for a drive to clear my mind, ended up at a Shell on I-65
Then I won a hundred bucks on a scratch off ticket
Bought two twelve packs and a tank of gas with it
She swore they were a waist of time, oh, but she was wrong
I was caller number five on a radio station, won a four-day, three-night, beach vacation
Deep sea, senorita, fishing down in Panama
And I ain’t gotta see my ex future mother-in-law anymore
Oh lord, when it rains it pours
Now she was sure real quick to up and apologize
When she heard about my new found luck on that FM dial
And it’s crazy how, lately now, it just seems to come in waves
What I thought was gonna be the death of me was my saving grace
It’s got me thinking that her leaving is the only logical reason
That I got the last spot in the Hooter’s parking lot
And the waitress left her number on my check with a heart
She picked up on the first ring when I gave her a call
And I only spent five bucks at the Moose Club Raffle
Won a used four-wheeler and three free passes
For me and two of my buddies to play a round of golf
And I ain’t gotta see my ex future mother-in-law anymore
Oh lord, when it rains it pours
When it rains it pours
And I’ve been on a hell of a redneck road for three weeks now
And it all started on the day that she walked out
Then I won a hundred bucks on a scratch off ticket
Bought two twelve packs and a tank of gas with it
She swore they were a waist of time, oh, but she was wrong
I was caller number five on a radio station, won a four-day, three-night, beach vacation
Deep sea, senorita, fishing down in Panama
And I ain’t gotta see my ex future mother-in-law anymore
Oh lord, when it rains it pours
When it rains it pours
And I can pretty much guarantee that 40 years from now she’ll discover her inner femme fatale and start complaining that she can’t get any men to pay attention to her.
I’ve been crippled up and living among the old folks for the last 10 years, and the wimmins won’t leave me alone. They all seem to think they’re doing me a big favor by acting flirtatious and condescending to offer me free pussy that’s waaaay past its sell-by date. Meanwhile I see here and other places where men congregate that the good ones like us have largely gotten sick of girl games and given it up in disgust.
Real World Address for Donations, Mash Notes and Hate Mail
Gerard Van der Leun
1692 MANGROVE AVE
APT 379
Chico, Ca 95926
Green Pants Interior by Klahn
Who Am I? by Carl Sandburg
My head knocks against the stars.
My feet are on the hilltops.
My finger-tips are in the valleys and shores of universal life.
Down in the sounding foam of primal things I reach my hands and play with pebbles of destiny.
I have been to hell and back many times.
I know all about heaven, for I have talked with God.
I dabble in the blood and guts of the terrible.
I know the passionate seizure of beauty
And the marvelous rebellion of man at all signs reading “Keep Off.”
My name is Truth and I am the most elusive captive in the universe.
Duty, Beauty, Liberty, Country, Honor, Family, Faith — Plus a few simple easy to follow rules for guys
Men saw the stars at the edge of the sea
They thought great thoughts about liberty
Poets wrote down words that did fit
Writers wrote books
Thinkers thought about it
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
Many’s the road I have walked upon
Many’s the hour between dusk and dawn
Many’s the time
Many’s the mile
I see it all now
Through the eyes of a child
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
Lost dreams and found dreams
In America
In America
In America
And close your eyes
Leave it all for a while
Leave the world
And your worries behind
You will build on whatever is real
And wake up each day
To a new waking dream
Take it where you find it
Can’t leave it alone
You will find a purpose
To carry it on
Mainly when you find it
Your heart will be strong
About it
[Chorus]
Change, change come over
Change come over
Talkin’ about a change
Change, change
Change come over, now
Change, change, change come over
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I’m gonna walk down the street
Until I see
My shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
I see my light
See my light
See my shining light
Gerard Van der Leun
Comments on this entry are closed.
Happy International Men’s Day!
Thanks! That was cheery and relaxing… 🙂
And I can pretty much guarantee that 40 years from now she’ll discover her inner femme fatale and start complaining that she can’t get any men to pay attention to her.
I’ve been crippled up and living among the old folks for the last 10 years, and the wimmins won’t leave me alone. They all seem to think they’re doing me a big favor by acting flirtatious and condescending to offer me free pussy that’s waaaay past its sell-by date. Meanwhile I see here and other places where men congregate that the good ones like us have largely gotten sick of girl games and given it up in disgust.
What a waste.
Sounds like The 12 Days of Divorcemas.
Love that
What I thought was gonna be the death of me was my saving grace
*********************************************
*Raised right hand*
Testify.